You cannot control everything in your personal life, at work, in relationships, our society, or the world. You can only control how you respond to stressors and choose to change your life for the better. Remember, only what you feel about yourself really matters. Happiness comes from within, and a psychologist can help.
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Tired all the time?
Unable to control your thoughts?
In pain mentally or physically?
Stuck in your past?
Relationship Problems?
Gender related issues?
Sexuality issues?
Sexual issues?
Distracted?
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Unhappy with anything in your life?
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Although "inner peace" is something I once believed difficult to obtain for most people in a thriving city like New York. But, after a long sabbatical and personal health issues I learned the key...
Reflection is essential, as is taking time for yourself to make sure you are content with every part of you!
I never was for meditation or the notion of mindfulness, as I could not slow down. There never seemed enough time and if I tried I was immediately distracted by patient issues, personal issues, or other daily life stressors. I was always on overdrive, not feeling I could ever take a day to myself. My beliefs were, and remain, to be fully committed to helping others... not realizing you can lose yourself when you are not living in the moment.
So after much reflection, I really appreciate what I have learned, and want to share the skills I discovered to learn inner peace.
I have learned issues do not disappear solely from eating right, exercise, and personal growth. This is what most doctors will tell you. Instead it is about the balance of Biology (biological predispositions and make up), Psychology (how you think about you and your life), and Sociology (the impact things in society or your personal life have on you).
All aspects must be balanced, and in harmony with each other. One can destroy the other, and they are intertwined, but more of this is in our power than we acknowledge. Those physical or emotional aches and distress can start manifesting in more physical and emotional symptoms before we know what is happening. (Yes, this includes in your sex life.)
The mind is an amazing thing. And when it is cluttered, catastrophic things can happen.
You need to stop and learn the reasons WHY you are doing what you do, and gain insight into yourself.
Even more so, insight, knowledge, deep work, full concentration, reflection, and being centered, are all kinds of knowing and fully understanding yourself, and are what keep us healthy and in our right minds.
You do not have to change radically, or give up who you are at the core. You are instead building upon yourself. It is more about being okay with yourself, and whatever you choose your life to be, in every way.
The past will always exist, as will stressors, but it is the management of your response to the internal upset and external triggers and then allowing your mind to react emotionally that will dictate your life and mind that is key. This can cause chronic unease in the mind and body, or an unbalanced sense of peace within.
Learning to be reflective about yourself, your experiences, and your social state, how to achieve more, be more productive and remove distractions (our world is full of them) and realizing you have control no matter what pressures exist in your life.
You have to make yourself the priority with regards to overall health. Then, you will be better equipped to deal with whatever life throws at you, and better able to care and relate to others.
There is so much we think we have to do, yet when we slow down we realize we do not. Life is full of distracting things like work, family, our thoughts, feelings, stressors, and an overall state of unease. This causes us to forget to live in the moment and have depth and complete insight.
So whatever issue brought you to this site, know that it IS manageable. But you have to believe it is, and find the way to control your mind.
That may be hard for most to believe but being an expert in the treatment of mental disorders, and human sexuality, I can help you find the balance and inner peace you long for.
See Dr. Valentino's other research articles about Sex Therapy and Psychotherapy issues.
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